Hormones and Kareoke
by ShadowMagick
Summary: Artemis begins hitting on Holly after she kisses him and the LEP are having a kareoke contest that he is being forced into. Yes, I suck at summarys but most of us do, so...yeah.


Authors note: Hey what's up? My name is Shadow and this is my first Artemis Fowl fic so please be nice! I'll ty and update every week or so but I can't garauntee anything! So heres my story!

Hormones and Kareoke

Artemis sighed as he got ready to leave for the Lower Elements; he still didn't know why _he _had to be there for a stupid kareoke contest. Holly had been quite persistent though so something special must be happening. Artemis wondered what it was as the doorbell rang and three LEP officers came to escort him down to Haven. They were at police plaza in less than thirty minutes and Artemis was surprised to see a large white banner with 'LEP Kareoke contest featuring Artemis Fowl' in red block letters. As soon as he read the sign he set off to find the fairy that had begged him to come tonight.

"HOLLY! What did you DO?" Holly tried her hardest to look innocent while trying not to laugh, needless to say it didn't work.

"Yes Artemis?" She asked. Artemis was fuming

"What did you do?" He asked again. Holly blinked,

"Oh, that?" She asked pointing to the banner.

"Yes THAT!"

"Well, I told Root I could probably get you to come down here for the party and he…well, he kind of misinterpreted what I said…" Artemis exploded

"Kind of! He thinks I'm IN this stupid show!" Holly looked at the aghast at the mud boy

"Sheesh Artemis, it's just a song!" But Artemis could not be calmed with words.

"_Just a song_? They expect me to _sing _Holly! Criminal Masterminds do**_ NOT_** _sing_!" Holly tried everything to calm him down except….

"D'Arvit!" She muttered.

"I don't care what you do just calm him down!" Yelled Root, turning a very interesting shade of purple.

"And Short…do it NOW!"

"Yes sir Commander." She replied. Then, turning to Artemis she grabbed his tie and pulled him down so that their faces were even and kissed him soundly on the lips. Artemis stopped short. **:Pardon the pun:** He seemed surprised for a moment then his eyes closed. Everyone watched as they slowly pulled apart. Holly and Artemis blushed as they opened their eyes and someone cheered

"Yeah Artemis! You should pat yourself on the back for being the first person to kiss Captain Holly Short…" Chix Verbil was about to protest.

"…Of her own free will." Chix shut his mouth and Mulch made his way towards the couple Artemis looked at him warily

"Nice speech Mulch, as if I'm not embarrassed enough." Mulch pretended to faint

"THE Artemis Fowl is embarrassed? Oh no!" Root laughed.

"I oughta write this down! It's a historic day for Artemis Fowl! Admitting he has feelings!" Artemis turned redder

"I'll say it's a historic day…"He muttered to himself,

"Why is that?" Asked Mulch. Artemis jumped.

"I wasn't aware anyone heard that," he stammered, " the reason this is a historic day for me is because that was **_my_ _first kiss_**." Everyone quieted and looked at Artemis amazed.

"What?" asked Holly she backed away from him,

"Really?" He nodded and Mulch incredulously asked

"You're a seventeen year old genius with an Irish accent and loads of cash and **_that_ **was your first kiss?" Holly looked offended at the dwarf

"Thanks Mulch, that's really nice, you don't have to sound so condescending!" He grinned at her

"Well, you started the whole thing in the first place." Artemis looked curiously at her,

"Yes why did you kiss me exactly?"

"Well I wouldn't of if I had known it was your first…"

"Holly don't change the subject."

"Fine! I did it because Root told me to shut you up and nothing else worked! There! You happy now?" She huffed.

"No," Artemis replied "but I suppose my horomones will have to wait." He sighed heavily and Holly gave him an odd look, Artemis sighed again and whispered in her ear,

"My dear Holly, you set them in motion and if _you_ don't appease them I'll _hire_ someone to." Holly's eyes grew wide at this statement and her face flushed crimson at what he was suggesting.

"What? B-but I-we- what? I-I r-really can't but…." Artemis smiled seductively at her,

"But what?" She shuddered as his breath tickled her skin

"I really…really kind of…want to…" The whole conversation had been whispered and no-one but an extremely annoying dwarf heard it, but he didn't tell anyone, deciding to later use it as blackmail instead.

Root had had enough of all this and decided to take over again and get the focus back on the reason they were all there anyway.

"Come on people! Time for the kareoke contest! Chix Verbil is up first singing…who wrote this? How am I supposed to read this chicken scratch?" A stage assistant came and whispered in Roots ear. Root nodded and the assistantwent backstage as he announced

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Chix Verbil and Lili Frond singing Hey Mama by the Mud Man group the Black Eyed Peas!" Holly snorted

"This aint gonna be pretty, I've heard them sing before." Chix came on stage smiling at every female in the crowd while Lili winked at the males and the music started.

Please Review I really appreciate any reviews but you flame me and I'll be sure it goes straight up...whoops! That's innappropriate isn't it? Oh...well. R and R! Luv Ya!

**_Shadow (o.0) Disturbed_**


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